Borrowed from http://boardgamegeek.com/geeklist/18878/item/363406, this is one my all time favorite geeklists.
I own 14 houses and 3 hotels, but I think I’ll spend the night in that vacant lot owned by my arch-rival over on Ventnor.
…or you stay at your neighbor’s fancy hotel (down the street from yours) and have to mortgage some of your property and sell a couple houses just to afford one night’s rent!
“I own all these hotels and houses and money. I think I am going to travel around Atlantic City in a shoe“
Its all about your prestige around town! Any fool can crash at his own crib but only the player who lives large can ride his terrier up to the other guy’s hotel and blow top coin for the night
You may be the killer, and not even be aware of it.
Prof. Plum, while searching the kitchen and examining a bent lead pipe, suddenly has an epiphany and looks to the others in excitement,
“Guys! GUYS!! I just figured it out! It was ME!! I killed Mr. Body! I was the killer all a-long!!! ME!!! Can you even believe it?!”
It might take me an hour to walk from the lounge to the ballroom, but if someone calls me for questioning I’m there in a second.
Also, a dead body has been found, riddled with bullet holes. The folks in the mansion are having a hard time determining if the victim may have been killed with a rope or possibly a candlestick.
3. Betrayal at House on the Hill
I have a Lake upstairs in my house. Right next to the church. and the satanist altar.
AND THE ELEVATOR?
What kind of creepy old haunted house has an elevator?
a dumbwaiter maybe, but an elevator?
4. Arkham Horror
As I stared up into the endless black gulf of the sky, the true horror of my situation finally dawned on me – for in it were contained alien constellations whose cold, feeble light no human eye had ever glimpsed! That eldritch portal through which I had stepped had flung me beyond the farthest reaches of space and time, and I could not help recalling those passages in the monstrous Pnakotic Manuscripts which hint at other, terrifying dimensions beyond our own. But I had no time for further reflection, for the mists before me began to waver and part as a hideously suggestive dark form approached. What blasphemous horror beyond human conception was I about to confront?…
“Hello, sir. My name is Smith and I’m with the Bank of Arkham.”
“Who… what did you… how..?”
“Ye-essss… Sir, on August 18, you took out a loan from the Bank of Arkham for the sum of $10.00.”
“How did you even get here? We’re on an alien planet… in another time… in an mythical monster-haunted dimension which may exist only in someone’s dream!”
“Sir, I’m not authorized to discuss internal bank procedures for these matters. You’ll have to speak to the manager. Now, your latest interest payment of… one dollar and zero cents is due immediately, and I have come here to collect it.”
“But… but I spent my last dollar buying this Elder Sign… which is our only hope of stopping the hideous alien forces which seek to destroy all makind!”
“Well, I’m afraid we’ll just have to confiscate that, then. Maybe this will teach you a lesson about responsibility, sir. Please sign here… and here…”
“I’m so close to a cure!””I have the information you need. Meet me in London, and I’ll give it to you.””But… can’t you tell me now?””NO! I can’t give you the information unless we meet in London.”
– Good news everyone! I have finally developed a cure for the fourth deadly disease!– Great news indeed! Let’s go quickly and administer it to everyone!– No need. Because, as I said, this is the fourth cure!– What do you mean? We’ve been howling our asses all over the world for the past few years, and now we should just.. stop?– Yes, because now we have the fourth cure!– But, people still are dying all over the world..come on, no time to waste..- Ahem..I said, FOURTH CURE!– But..but..oh, what the hell. I give up.. Let’s just get drunk. I’ll SMS the dispatcher to beam me up at your place.– Now you’re talking!
Ouch, four pandemics threaten human civilisation worldwide! And the CDC in Atlanta seems to be the only people anywhere who care. In fact, they’ve put FOUR operatives onto the problem, only one or two of whom have any medical knowledge. If they’re really lucky, they get a government grant large enough to rent and equip a single temporary lab somewhere!
Mediaeval Poltroon: What ho, shopkeep!
Shopkeep: Morning, sir. What can I get you?
MP: I’d like to buy some money, please.
SK: Certainly, sir. And how would you be paying for that?
MP: With money, of course.
SK: That’ll do nicely. Anything else?
MP: Well, yes, but I’m not allowed to buy anything more today. I’ll have to come back tommorrow! Until then… farewell! [Departs]
MP: Ah, shopkeep! I trust the morning finds you well?
SK: Very well sir. Will you be wanting some money sir? I’ve just got a fresh batch in.
MP: [patting pockets] Well, er, yes… but, rather embarrassingly, I seem to find myself bereft of either actions or money with which to pay.
SK: Never mind sir. Here – have back all the money you gave me over the last few weeks. Stick it in your pockets and jingle it about a bit. There now. Have you enough to buy some more money?
MP: Why yes, I have three coins, an action and a deed for some real estate. I could sell you the estate for cash.
SK: Sorry, sir. No-one in the Middle Ages is interested in real estate. I can give you gold for copper though.